How to accustom a kitten or an adult cat to hands and affection, if the animal does not like to sit with the owner?

It can be difficult to get a cat to enjoy being held or cuddled, particularly if you have an adult cat that prefers its own space or a shy kitten. Cats are distinct animals with distinct personalities; some just don’t like being touched. However, you can make your feline friend feel more at ease with your touch if you have a little perseverance and the appropriate technique.

First of all, it’s critical to realize that not every cat will warm up to you right away. Some might require extra time to get used to being managed. It’s acceptable if your cat prefers not to sit with you! To begin with, establish a serene space where they can feel comfortable and safe. This will help you and your cat develop a trusting relationship.

Attempt to spend time with your cat without pressuring them to interact. Read a book, play with a toy, or just relax on the floor. Allow your feline to come near you at its own speed. When they do, give them a treat or some kind words to help them form good memories of you. Your cat might begin to seek you out more frequently over time.

You can gradually start giving your cat brief touches once they appear more at ease. Start with soft strokes on favorite spots, such as the chin or head. When your cat grows more comfortable with your hands, you should progressively extend the duration of these brief but positive interactions. Since each cat is unique and will mature at a different rate, patience is essential.

Recall that you want to make affectionate behavior enjoyable for your cat rather than pressuring them into it. If you gently and consistently encourage your cat to cuddle and spend more time with you, you might just discover that your cat becomes more receptive to the idea. Savor the process of learning more about your animal companion!

Tip Description
Go Slow Start by letting the cat approach you on their own terms. Don"t force interactions.
Use Treats Offer treats to create positive associations with being near you. Gradually introduce gentle petting.
Playtime Engage with toys to build trust. Let them play while you"re nearby to help them feel comfortable.
Safe Space Provide a cozy spot where they can retreat. This helps them feel secure and more willing to engage.
Quiet Voice Talk softly to them. A calm voice can soothe and make them more relaxed around you.
Routine Establish a routine for feeding and playtime. Cats thrive on predictability and may come to you more often.
Respect Their Space Always respect their need for space. If they walk away, let them go without forcing attention.

Why a kitten does not want to sit on the owner"s hands?

An owner should consider the history of their cat if they are unsure about why their pet dislikes being picked up. Therefore, zoopsychologists’ research indicates that an animal may respond negatively to affection for the following reasons:

  • Sincere misunderstanding. As a rule, this applies to very small kittens. Curious and accustomed to always being on the move kids do not understand why they are forced to stay in one place. Similar behavior is often demonstrated by animals recently taken from the street, not accustomed to communication with humans.
  • Fear of heights and loss of balance. Some animals prefer to stand firmly on the ground with all four paws. When they are picked up, such pets feel as if they are in zero gravity, which is why they experience severe stress and may even become aggressive.

  • Smells. Most cats react nervously to strong aromas. For example, they do not like it when someone smells of citrus, alcohol, spices, household chemicals and perfumes and are unlikely to go to such a person in their arms. Some animals may have a much wider range of hated smells due to unpleasant personal experiences, and owners should take such features of their pets into account before trying to sit their pet on their lap again.
  • Bad memories. If a kitten has ever been beaten, carelessly grabbed or offended in some other way, it will probably grow up with the confidence that nothing good can be expected from human hands. The touch of the owner, even if he was not the offender, is associated with such animals not with affection, but with a threat, and therefore causes only fear.
  • Biased attitude. The already mentioned repulsive smells and bad communication experience in the past, as well as a dozen other random factors can form a persistent hostility in a cat towards a specific person. Calmly perceiving affection in general, the animal will refuse to go into the arms of the object of antipathy.

Representatives of some breeds are inherently independent because they were bred to be that way. These animals have a character that makes them dislike sitting on hands, so individual life experiences almost have no bearing on them.

Breeds, representatives of which are distinguished by a dislike of hands and affection

When it comes to animals whose distaste for being affectionate is just a trait of their breed, one cannot help but think of Scottish Fold and British Shorthair cats. Generations of both breeders have attempted to achieve self-reliance and self-sufficiency. After their success, felinologists have acquired creatures that are phlegmatically calm and independent of human companionship.

The good news is that people who work a lot outside the home can have British or Scottish cats as pets because they don’t get uncomfortable when left alone for extended periods of time. Nevertheless, an owner returning after an extended absence cannot expect a warm reception: members of the aforementioned breeds decline to "hug" and sit on hands out of principle, even when they are genuinely missing their owner. It is pointless to try forcing such an animal to become accustomed to hands. It is not like this at all.

See also: How to deal with a hyperactive cat and what medication can be administered to a 2-3 month old kitten that is too active?

Maine Coons, who have a wild appearance, exhibit comparable behavior naturally. Nonetheless, there are frequently happy exceptions to the norm among this breed’s representatives, so if the owner of the cat is certain that his pet is one of them, it makes sense to attempt training the animal to not be afraid of hands.

It’s crucial to create a secure and welcoming environment that fosters comfort and trust in order to assist a kitten or adult cat who dislikes being held or showered with affection. Begin with gentle methods such as playing with toys, giving treats, and letting the cat approach you when it’s convenient for them. Establish touch gradually, giving a quick pet during times of relaxation. Be patient as this bond takes time to form. A more loving relationship with your cat will ultimately result from being aware of their body language and respecting their boundaries.

What you shouldn"t do when trying to accustom an animal to hands?

You should begin training the kitten when it is still small to minimize discomfort during the process of acclimating it to human interaction. However, it is crucial to take care not to make mistakes in order to prevent the infant from associating the owner’s hugs with anything unpleasant.

The animal’s owner ought not to:

  • Before communicating with the pet, drink alcohol, eat citrus fruits or use perfume. If a person exudes odors that are frankly unpleasant for the animal, the experience of communication will be perceived by the cat as negative.
  • Make sudden movements. Suddenly grabbing the pet, you can frighten or even physically injure it.

  • Hold the cat by force. Being wayward and independent, representatives of the feline family prefer equal relationships built on mutual respect. If a pet does not want to sit on your hands at a particular moment in time, coercion will only cause him misunderstanding, resentment and anger.
  • Chasing the animal away from your lap when it itself has decided to take the initiative in communication. Sometimes the cat"s affection comes at an inopportune time. However, even if the owner is in a hurry, pushing the pet away, he must remember that in this way he confuses the pet, nullifying all his previous efforts to establish contact with him.

It may require some time and patience to get a kitten or adult cat to feel at ease being held and showered with love. Every cat has a unique personality; some may be instant snugglers, while others may require a little more prodding. Respecting their limits and moving at their speed is essential.

Establish a peaceful space where your cat feels secure first. To foster trust, give small praises and treats. Introduce the concept of holding them gradually by briefly picking them up. Let them feel safe and supported in your arms by providing proper body support. They may learn to associate being held with good things as a result.

Adoration can also be nurtured through playtime. Use toys that your cat enjoys to interact with them while they play. By doing this, you not only strengthen your relationship but also increase their comfort level in your company. They may grow accustomed to cuddling with you as they learn to associate you with enjoyment and security.

Remember to pay attention to their nonverbal cues. Give your cat space if they exhibit stress-related behaviors like twitching tails or flattened ears. Allowing them to approach you when they’re ready is crucial. Your cat can learn to love the warmth of your affection and your company with constant love and understanding.

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Maxim Kovalev

Veterinarian with many years of experience. Main interest is the prevention and treatment of diseases in cats and dogs. I constantly share proven tips for caring for the health of pets to help avoid common problems and maintain their excellent health.

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